Friday, 1 January 2010

With all the strength, agility, charisma and social ability of an epileptic ground sloth, Mike is here to save the day!

.... Yes. Ground sloth. That's my excuse for not posting since June. I was bitten by a radioactive ground sloth and every time I see vegetation I transform into.... it.

Now sitting in a vegetation-free room, I can live again!

Now... where was I? Ah yes. I'd just posted chapter one. Well, you'll be pleased to know, I'm still working on it, and it should be completed sometime at the end of the Mayan calendar.

To be honest, life got in the way. I moved 400 miles south just last month, and am now living in sunny, snowless, but ultimately not flat (! This last point was very important to me. I'm a hill walker! South Lincolnshire is all river basin.) Devon. Just 10 miles north of Plymouth to be exact. So I've running around like a blue-arsed fly, or any other simile you can come up with, sorting things out and generally running low (very) on funds. So I haven't been interwebbing much of late.

I'm also virtually alone down here. I'm living with two friends and colleagues, but the only people who actually made me feel good about myself are now nearly half the country away. I hate using the phone because conversations do not come quickly to me, so phone calls tend to short and full of awkward silences. Emails are emotionless. I can't sing songs from Team America via facebook (you probably don't get that, but I'm So Ronery made someone laugh very hard every time).

But, I've got a week off later this month, so instead of locking myself in my room and typing like I usually do, I'm actually taking a holiday... back up North to see the janitors of my sanity.

As I've said previously, slow down, let life flow around you, good things come to those who wait. And I'm very good at waiting. Since moving I've felt the lowest moods I've ever had, and each time I've pulled myself through believing that eventually all the torture will be worth it. And it will.

It's a brand new year, a brand new decade! And like every year, I'll feel great for the first quarter of it, then realise applying logic to the world doesn't work, get frustrated, depressed and lonely, and then feel good again the moment I hear Tom Jones sing The Midnight Hour during Jools Holland's Hootenanny at midnight on new year. Every goddamned year. Why don't I learn? And what will I do when Sir Jones is gone? Or heaven forbid, Jools?

I suppose I'll just have to watch my dvd of Muppets Christmas Carol. Ah nostalgia, brings so much more warmth to the soul than any glass of sherry. Wait! That doesn't mean I don't want the sherry...

Anyway, enough of these thought experiments. Schrödinger's cat needs feeding.

On to chapter 2! A relatively short chapter, introducing a few members of the (reluctant) crew aboard the Rising Phoenix. I'm not happy with chapter 3 yet, so I'm going to rewrite some of it (some of the crew seem to be acting strange to me... They're not themselves, so I've got to get them back into character). I've also realised 'glower' has become one of my favourite words. I think use it too often.

Merry christmas! No more chapter for you! Taken down for an eventual rewrite. 9th July 2013

I hope you've all had a happy Christmas (mine was spent with another family... really awkward. Felt like I was intruding, despite being in my own house), and I wish you all the best for the year to come. You wonderful people you.

And remember, too much nostalgia leads to brain rot. Sentimentalise responsibly.

Warm, toasty feelings,
AKA Were-sloth.
AKA Melon-faced Man!
AKA Spartacus